amc jams 1: the african queen

my distinguished friend, playwright thomas patrick tarpey, once went & watched all the movies on the top 100 most important film list. i don’t remember what list this was, so i just got one off amc.com. i realize that this is not the most distinguished website, but they’re the second best old movie channel next to tmc which really only shows boring films anyway.

the point is, the first movie i watched was the african queen, with bogie and katherine hepburn. the film is in color, and the rough story goes like this: british brother and sister spend a decade in africa as missionaries until a bunch of dumb nazi’s come and wreck everything and steal everyone. the brother dies from fright because he’s not american, and katherine hepburn takes off down the river with bogie, a fun-loving, dull-witted but dashingly handsome, functional alcoholic. here is my review of some of the finer points of the film:
1. hepburn does not wear a pant suit throughout the
whole shebang.
2. i couldn’t have a conversation with either of these 2
before noon, that’s for sure.
3. just because you can’t see a crocodile at the time, it
doesn’t mean it’s a good time to hop in an african river
nekkid.
moral of the movie: sometimes being your wacky self can get you exactly where you need to be. also, it helps you get something cookin’ on the love seat.